3 Tips for Improving Sexual Communication
I used to expect my lovers to know what I liked, loved, and wanted in bed. I expected them to be mind-readers. Obviously, it didn’t go that well. I used to feel frustrated when they couldn’t read my body language and I used to think that they should just be able to. After all, I was giving them such clear signals!!! Right? Then one lover started to ask me questions about my preferences and desires. It felt weird. I discovered I felt uncomfortable sharing with him. But I decided to give it a try since the whole mind-reading thing wasn’t working out. When I finally did start asking for what I wanted in bed I felt open, vulnerable, and powerful – all at the same time. But most of all I felt connected – to my partner, but even more importantly to myself. It felt amazing!
Communication is one of the most important factors in a healthy sexual life.
The common belief is that our lover should just know what we like and read perfectly the signals we give them. The reality, though, is that not many people are mind readers J.
What if we drop this common belief and start communicating our preferences, rather than hoping our partner will somehow read our body language and guess what we want? Let’s face it, when people can read our body language it’s amazing! And in time my loves have tended to learn how to do this. But let’s be honest – we generally don’t receive any kind of education around reading body signals and it’s not easy for most people to do.
Talking in an open and authentic way to our partner/s about what we enjoy and want more of (or less of) is empowering and beautiful. Honest communication around sexuality will start to dismantle a lot of the taboo and misunderstanding, thereby allowing more intimacy.
Of course, I know it can be confronting to express what we want. It is challenging for people to openly talk about sex. It was challenging for me in the beginning!
Watch the video to find out my top 3 tips to make communication about sexuality easier <3